LETTER TO THE EDITOR — An argument against arguments

Published 12:02 am Wednesday, September 13, 2023

Arguments, why do people have them?

Arguments seldom, if ever, solve anything. There usually is no communication taking place, no reasoning, no logic and no listening and generally no conclusion.

Arguments can also have some devastating side effects and consequences.

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Some outcomes could include: bad feelings, broken friendships, divorce, fist fight, personal injury, hospitalization, death and who knows what all.

Arguments often include: yelling, screaming, anger, hate, name calling, distrust, abusiveness, suspicion, lies, unfounded accusations, hurt feelings and become abusive and emotional outburst.

Often times, no one remembers what the argument was about.

Arguments often end up making the matter worst and the issue unresolved and contribute nothing.

The problem is that everyone involved everyone wants to be right. And, everybody wants to win!

How do you manage and keep arguments in check? Let me offer some suggestions;


  1. Keep your mouth shut.
  2. Listen.
  3. Smile.
  4. Use a normal tone of voice.
  5. Be pleasant.
  6. Seek clarification.
  7. Work toward a solution.
  8. In a calm, non-combative tone, state your position clearly.


  1. Engage; works every time.
  2. Yell.
  3. Make demands.
  4. Name call.
  5. Criticize.
  6. Lie or exaggerate.
  7. Use profanity.
  8. Use derogatory words.
  9. Brush off counter arguments.
  10. Jump to conclusions.

Don’t argue, save your marriage, be happy!

– Armando Gaytan, Port Arthur