The Port Arthur News
Well gee whiz, ya'll! Ain't it just too exciting that we have another Texas governor — pretty quick after Alfred E. Neumann aka G.W. Bush — to run for President of the United States? Governor Goodhair is on a roll, I'm tellin' you, and the tea party's right behind him, pushing him ever onward!
Of course, Governor Goodhair may be the only Texas governor ever to be worse than GeeDubya, if it is at all possible to have one worse than Bush, you understand.
With the good help of my friend John DeVillier and the Internet, I have researched some and located a few tidbits about Governor Goodhair that you might not have already known. I sincerely hope what follows will help you decide your vote in the upcoming election — or maybe even a GOP primary.
1. Rick Perry has been a “big government” politician since he was elected to the Texas House 27 years ago. When he became governor of Texas in 2000, the total spending by the Texas state government was $49 billion. Ten years later it more than doubled.
2. The debt to GDP (gross domestic product) ratio in Texas is 22.9%. The debt for each citizen is $10,645. In California the GDP ratio is only 18.7%, and the debt per citizen is only $9,932. You can bet Perry wants to keep those figures hidden.
3. The total debt of the Texas government more than doubled since Perry became governor.
4. Perry wanted to lease roads in Texas to foreign companies — to turn roads that are already free into toll roads. And to develop the Trans-Texas Corridor, part of the planned NAFTA Highway to foreign governments.
5. Rick Perry lied about “not raising taxes.” He repeatedly raised taxes and fees, and Texans are faced with higher taxes and fees than ever before.
6. Even with the oil boom in Texas, 23 states have a lower unemployment rate than Texas.
7. In 1988, Rick Perry supported Al Gore for president. He was actually Gore's Texas campaign manager that year.
8. Between 2007 and 2011, weekly wages in the US increased at about 5%. During that period, they only increased 0.6% in Texas.
9. Texas has one of the worst education systems in the nation...
36th in graduation rates, 3.8 million Texans don't have a high school degree.
Texas is 49th in verbal SAT scores, 47th in literacy, 46th in math SAT's, 33rd in teacher salaries (and laying teachers off).
10. Texas has the highest percentage of workers making the minimum wage.
One might say Perry's ideas could more aptly be called “scams” instead of schemes. For instance, he wanted to help Wall Street gamble on how long retired teachers (including yours truly) would live. He was telling retired teachers it was a great deal, and promised each of them the gigantic payment of $50 if they agreed. Of course, it was all a plan of UBS, a Swiss banking giant.
So, if Texas teachers agreed to let a Swiss bank take out a life insurance policy on them, the policies would be paid to Wall Street speculators, not the families of teachers.
And guess who would be Perry's best partner in this deal? Senator Phil Gramm it was — Gramm, it turns out, became a vice president at Swiss UBS, with a super-lucrative contract. The whole scam was one of the two most infamous by Wall Street — the other was the market for the mortgage-backed securities of people's homes. We all are well aware of the present recession, which is the result of that scam. Perry and Gramm's other scam would have let Wall Street bet on teachers' lives...and deaths.
However, all that pales in comparison to the Big Thing, which is how God wants Rick Perry to run for President of the United States.
According to an article in “The Texas Observer,” Perry was visited by God's messengers.... “On September 28, 2009, at 1:40 P.M., God's messengers visited Rick Perry...arrived in the form of two Texas pastors, Tom Schlueter of Arlington and Bob Long of San Marcos, who called on Perry in the governor's office...They consider themselves modern-day apostles and prophets, blessed with the same gifts as Old Testament prophets or New Testament apostles.”
“Schlueter declared over Perry that 'there was a leadership role beyond Texas and that Texas had a role beyond what people understand'.” So Perry needed to be president.
“That's why,” Perry announced, “I'm calling on Americans to pray and fast like Jesus did...”
Okay, Governor Goodhair, so much for keeping a separation of church and state, which is a large reason our earliest founders came here in the first place.
I've often laughed at Perry and his hypocritical, obvious ways.
But that was, and will continue to be, a large mistake. Why? Because in 27 years Perry has run in ten elections and never lost one. He has beaten Jim Hightower, Carole Keaton Strayhorn, Kay Bailey Hutchinson, and Bill White, to name some outstanding ones.
So listen up, Democrats! Please don't underestimate Rick Perry — be sure and go and vote for Obama...(yeah, I know, I'm mad at him too).
Republicans! Vote for Mitt Romney, Michele Bachmann or somebody.
Perry would be death to America.
Neal Morgan of Nederland is a retired educator. Contact him at firstname.lastname@example.org.