20th Century Fox Films
Directed by Gary Winick
Starring Kate Hudson, Anne Hathaway, Candace Bergen, Steve Howey and Chris Pratt
Producers know that guys will go see any movie, no matter how bad, provided that you fill it with fast cars, big explosions and beautiful women. I suppose that it’s only natural that the female equivalent, “Bride Wars,” rolls into theaters under the assumption that women will go see any movie, no matter how bad, if it focuses exclusively on two women who set out to plan the perfect wedding.
Kate Hudson and Anne Hathaway play the brides-to-be, two childhood friends who have been dreaming about their big day ever since they were little girls. They become engaged, but due to a scheduling mix up, they both book the New York Plaza Hotel on the same day. They can’t move the date, and neither woman wants to give up on her dream for a perfect wedding. By movie logic, the only possible solution is for the best friends to become bitter rivals and set out to sabotage the other’s ceremony.
Now I’m not the most strident feminist out there, but even I can see that this movie takes a pretty shallow view of feminine values. Even worse, “Bride Wars” isn’t funny; it’s little more than a base comedy that drags two otherwise appealing actresses through the mud of petty squabbles before a half-hearted attempt at a happy ending. “Bride Wars” might have struck a genuine comic nerve had the filmmakers really set out to skewer the excesses of the wedding industry, but by settling for a tepid PG rating, those humorous barbs never amount to anything of note.
The same holds true for the film’s leading ladies, who don’t provide any memorable moments other than the obvious visual gag of a cat fight between two women in wedding dresses. The leading men fare even worse, and might as well have been played by tuxedo mannequins.
“Bride Wars” fails at almost every occasion. It’s not funny, the characters aren’t sympathetic and the plot is absurd — even the guys in the audience will know that these women could never pull of the wedding of their dreams even under the best of circumstances. This quest for a perfect wedding turns out to be a perfect disaster of a movie mistake.
Movie reviews by Sean, “The Movie Guy,” are published bi-weekly in “The Port Arthur News” and weekly on KFDM-TV. Sean welcomes your comments via email at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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