Mike Myers has just delivered his first new live action comedy in five years, although given the scarcity of actual humor in this latest film, using the term "comedy" might be a bit too generous. "The Love Guru" just isn't funny by any stretch of the imagination, relying instead upon a mindless barrage of crotch humor, bodily fluid gags and midget jokes that won't amuse anyone other than the most juvenile of audiences.

Myers plays Guru Pitka, a Hindu-flavored self-help life coach; think of a wacky Deepak Chopra and you’ll get the idea. Pitka is hired by the owner of the Toronto Maple Leafs hockey team (played by Jessica Alba?) when her star player (Romany Malco) looses his on-ice mojo because the L.A. Kings goalie (Justin Timberlake) has seduced his woman. Pitka hopes to achieve fame by reconciling the couple in time for the Stanley Cup.

Throw in Verne Troyer as the team's coach, Stephen Colbert as a drug addled sports commentator and a host of celebrity cameos from Mariska Hargitay to Ben Kingsley, and you're left with a collection of scenes where Myers and friends are given ample opportunity to engage in all manner of silly antics and accents.

Silly is not nearly the same thing as funny, although I will give Myers credit for putting all of his efforts into selling his particular sophomoric brand of humor. I only wish that he would have expended some of that energy when he was writing the screenplay—five years should have been plenty of time to write a funny film instead of just vomiting out a string of adolescent jokes that get old very quickly.

Ultimately "The Love Guru" isn't entirely without merit--the Bollywood musical parodies are fun, as are some of the supporting performances. Sadly, it’s the major stuff that’s the real letdown here. Guru Pitka is amusing at first, but quickly becomes a one-note caricature (although the same could be said about Austin Powers or Wayne). The biggest problem plaguing “The Love Guru” is that Myers isn’t doing anything original with this character, and there's only so much humor to be wrung out of urine soaked mop fights, elephants having sex or Justin Timberlake with a stuffed crotch and an outrageous accent.

Movie reviews by Sean, “The Movie Guy,” are published bi-weekly in “The Port Arthur News” and weekly on KFDM-TV. Sean welcomes your comments via email at smcbride@kavutv.com.